Thank you Bill for giving us such a great ride today! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

The story begins with the inaugural run of the Pony Express. The loop was 90kms and two teams were drawn from a helmet. Each team took off in opposite directions. Vytas, Colleen Bill Pye and I were on the same team as a new woman who showed up for the ride. Because of language issues, she thought that each member of the team would ride about 30kms total. She had a mountain bike, regular pedals and though traveling at a very relaxed pace, had a great attitude and superb sense of teamwork. The challenge was on!

Now time bonus' were to be awarded for bringing back the flakiest pastry in the best condition from Richmond Bakery, a minute off for every donut that the team could eat at the Tim Horton's , and best- of all, 5 minutes off for the most interesting item found by the side of the road.

We had the privilege of stopping by the bakery first and wanted to go all out and bring back a pie. (The pie made it almost unscathed!)

At this point we realized that 90kms would be too much for the new rider, so we short-cutted and took 30 kms off the route. Along the way, Bill (aka Davey Crockett) decided that the most interesting item found by the side of the road, would be a raccoon tail hacked from the carcass of road kill.

Failing to find a suitable victim, he opted for the skunk that presented itself. He searched frantically in his pannier for the knife he always carries, only to find it missing. No fear, says Clayre (the new rider).....she has surgical scissors! Thankfully, those too were not to be found. Bill decides that his only course of action is to tie a zip tie around the tail and try and tug it off the body! Nope! That didn't seem to work either. Getting down to business, he drops to his knees, picks up a sharp stone and starts hammering away! (I can only imagine what passing cars would be reporting at the dinner table tonight.) Desperately realizing that a milky fluid was beginning to pool at his feet, Bill hastily abandons his (in his mind) winning card and beats a fast retreat to the comfort of his fellow riders.

This, you would assume, would be the end of things. However, Bill, being ever resourceful, finds a mummified frog in short course and tucks "Dead Fred" onto his handlebar bag to be our newest member and navigator. Dead Fred is eventually given a wormy crabapple to munch on while he rides proudly into the parking lot of the Cheshire Cat Pub.

I was laughing so hard for most of the ride (over Bill and his road kill exploits) that tears were coming from my eyes!

The other team did the entire route (as good little randonneurs should) and joined us within 1/2 an hour. Their ride was lovely and pleasant, though not without challenges, but obviously lacked a member quite as eccentric as our Bill. :) Real Prefontaine, Mike Verstappen, Ian Hamilton, and a Dan......from OBC composed the 2nd team. Perhaps one of these fine riders would like to tell their story from the opposite point of view.

Patti

Randonnuering Stories