Ottawa 600K Ride Reports: July 13, 2002
Stinger, Stunner, and Smoker
My focus for the whole trip was to conquer the formidable Foymount hill. The engine was fuelled, had lots of lubrication and the on-board computer was working well. There were no mechanical problems. My elation of reaching the top was soon tempered when I mentioned to Vytas that with this challenge over the rest of the trip should be easy. He gave me this knowing look, or was it more sympathetic, and slowly said: "There are three more hills that I simply call number-1, number-2 and number-3".
Well, I have some rather choice names for those small mountain 'hills'. At first I thought of "heart-breaker hill" but the Boston Marathon already uses that and "ball-breaker hill" wouldn't have any meaning to our female randonneurs. I have decided rather to name the 3 hills after the 3 maladies experienced over the last few days - Stinger, Stunner and Smoker.
Stinger - After the first hill a blister started forming on my left cheek. What felt like a large marble in my back pocket formed about an hour later. I didn't have to cycle too long before the blister burst and you guessed it, a few more kilometres and the skin was peeled back to reveal raw meat. A randonneur on a previous posting had described this malady as stinging razor blades. Thus I name the first hill as "Stinger". The name is also in honour of Bilbo Baggins sword that struck fear in the hearts of the mountain Orcs and they would turn both checks and run away. Fortunately I had had a "stinger" in the past and had brought some Desitin cream (found in the baby section of Loblaws). It has the highest zinc content for killing bugs and the cod liver oil not only has Vitamin E but provides a good protective coating. A couple of Advil also helped but most importantly I found tight shorts relieved the pain the best. I had tried double shorts before, but I found them horribly hot on the above 30C and also the real problem is the bunching of the shorts. By pulling the cycling shorts tight up my back I found it much more comfortable. I am going to try some suspenders on the next long ride and if that works maybe those bib type cycling shorts would be a good buy.
Stunner - Past "learnings" has shown that by not doing up my cycling gloves I do not experience the carpel tunnel syndrome. My left hand is fine but, alas, with the number of hills and shifting there are three fingers on my right hand that are still numb or stunned at the tips. The second hill is therefore named "Stunner" for the numb and stunned fingers. My old bike has the shifters on the frame and I could use either hand to shift. Now that the shifter is an integral part of the brake I'm not sure how to compensate for this malady - maybe wrist exercises.
Smoker - I took the advice of some previous listings about moving the cleats farther back on the shoes to prevent the feet from getting numb and/or hot. I only experienced a little "hot-foot", however Herb and Yvon, who had done the trip two weeks ago, had experienced "fire" on their feet. Where there is smoke there is fire so in honour of them I'll remember the third hill as "Smoker".
The other unusual happening was while Herb was trying to make himself more comfortable he ripped his cycling shorts wide open in the front. He was cycling with only one hand not only because of modesty but as he said: "If I let go then 'it' will get caught in the spokes". Dream on Herb! Fortunately for Herb I had an extra pair of running shorts (they weight less than half a chocolate bar). Hence both Herb's modesty and "marvel" (his word not mine, that's for sure!) were saved. Beware of Stinger, Stunner and Smoker if you should have the pleasure of doing the Ottawa 600km Brevet.
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by Roy Neifer